http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHjpOzsQ9YI

About 18 months ago, my son bounced down the stairs from his room beaming from ear to ear. He had heard an amazing new artist and couldn’t be more pleased at his “discovery”. I followed him up and together, we watched her youtube video. Her talent was undeniable and I would find out more recently, that her teachings (however unconscious) were even more meaningful.

For Christmas, we purchased tickets for the family to see Lindsey Stirling in concert. She was coming to a venue in our area and I thought my son would love it. He did. Her concert was unbelievable and her talent unquestionable, but what I took away from that night would forever change my worldview.

I occasionally show her early music video (attached below) with leadership teams that I work with. I love watching the audience’s reaction and I am sure it echoes mine the first time I saw it. Some are brought to tears, others remain speechless, many are moved beyond words and ALL are awestruck. At her concert, Lindsey shared a portion of her journey with the audience. 18 months ago, this talented young girl was told by record producers (do we still use this term?) that she was not good enough. Really? She was not good enough?

As she thanked her audience for making her famous through social media venues such as youtube, I was inspired by a new reality. So often, our fear limits our choices. It forces us to relinquish to old paradigms that seem stable and true, but actually are outdated and antiquated.  We believe that what is stopping us is a true opinion others have projected unto us. Too frequently, this opinion becomes our reality. This was my first lesson that evening: nothing can hold back our passion and purpose. Sometimes, we just need to move past our own paradigms of what is and is not possible.

Her concert featured several others artists who “opened” for her. Like her, their fame has been driven by social media and an adoring public following. This became my second lesson of the evening: collaboration.  From these artists radiated a core belief that we can all be successful if we support and collaborate with one another. Too often in our society, we hold and act on the perception that your success must equal my failure. We step over each other in the hopes that it will help us “get ahead”. Yet, our evolutionary survival has always been contingent upon supporting one another through cooperation and collaboration. Where did that message get lost? When did we begin accepting the belief that for me to win, you must lose?

That became my final gift from the night. A continued renewal and reminder that we can all be successful. There is room and space for everyone to show up and contribute their best. We have an ability (and actually an obligation) to move through our fear and support our deeper calling- despite all the barriers others throw up in front of us. The fears the others project do NOT need to become our reality.

An introduction to the results from a phenomenological study of the emotion of fear in the workplace.

[download]

I love this quote by Eckhart Tolle, "Set goals, but know that the arriving is not all that important".

We live in a culture that demands goal setting. . . with ourselves, in our families, schools, workplaces- we set goals. We have goals for our weight, for grade point average, for salary expectations, for getting somewhere in a certain amount of time, for completing tasks, for points scored in the big game, or for achieving work performance.

When we speak about emotion, goal setting is a critical driver of whether we experience happiness or anger; joy or fear; love or shame. If we desire a different emotional outcome, we can either switch the goal or hold it more loosely. In the end, perhaps the arrival is not as important as the vision set.

Such a simple statement yet the organizational consequences are significant. We wonder why our workplaces are plagued with fear, anger and resistance. With every new change we implement, we are already changing again. There is often no ability to settle into a change, no room for compliancy (even for a moment); and no space for reflection. Ultimately, there is a dichotomy between what is required of us within the organizational context and what we physically and psychologically are able to manage.

I have often found myself contemplating why we spend such time and energy resisting what is or what we know will be? Yet, the answer is simple. We are genetically and evolutionary programmed to survive. Our current mechanisms to do this remain with fight or flight. When we cannot cope with our present or predicted circumstances, we move into fear; and when we move into fear, we defend ourselves.

For organizations, flight results in passive resistance to change, denial, apathy for our jobs, lack of engagement and turnover. When we move into fight, we see aggressiveness with leaders and teams, lobbying the troops against “the establishment” or acts of retaliation.

For years, I have studied, taught and led change within teams and organizations. Despite every effort to the contrary, change results in very predictable employee behaviors. As organizations and leaders seek to better manage change efforts and enhance acceptance to change initiatives, we must begin to increase individual resilience and aid them in not only understanding the change, but managing their emotional response to the “abandonment of everything” we have come to know.

This morning, I went for coffee and took a short walk near the river outside Starbucks. The peaks around me were covered in snow. A recent storm had seemingly placed every flake strategically upon the branches of the trees. The water in front of me reflected the morning sun and I sat memorized by the majestic beauty surrounding me.

With my coffee in hand, I watched the shallow water as it flowed down the river; the banks covered in white. A small trout moving through the water caught my attention. I was captivated in that moment; not able to take my eyes off his faded rainbow colors. I watched him curiously as he swam against the current, his tail moving furiously against the downward flow of the river. He moved towards three small rocks, located in a trio near the center of the river. Naturally and instinctively, he tucked in towards the base of the stones. Using them as a haven and a place of refuge against the steady flow of the river, he floated gently in place as the water circled around him. While he was still being guided along the path, this moment of sanctuary allow him to regain strength, momentum and focus.

Then, with ease and clarity, he moved forward from under the stones. He was again caught by the gentle current. Rather than fighting it or resisting, he moved with the water allowing himself to be carried briefly downstream. His tail slowly steering him in the desired direction.

His movement was graceful. It was effortless and natural. It required no thought; only instinct. This small creature was not in fear. He did not move from place to place as a results of some eminent threat, but rather from an intuitive necessity for long term survival and well-being.

• Where are you swimming upstream- fighting feverishly against the flow? How tired are you?
• Who or what are your rocks? Your places of refuge and your havens?
• How do you know when to move forward and when to stay in haven?
• What are you resisting that might require you to pause and “go with the flow”?
• How might you listen to your own intuition and know when movement is required for your ability to thrive?

Note: Paying attention to the world around us can offer clues and insights to guide us on our journey. I often find myself using the reality of what surrounds us as a metaphor to address challenges and explore opportunities available in our lives.

Last week, I was reminded of a story; an old Chinese proverb, which offers us valuable lessons in perspective.

An old farmer lived in a small village with his teenage son. He worked hard in the fields and his meager possessions were limited. The most valuable of his belongings was a work horse, which he used for tilling his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills seemingly lost forever.

The man’s neighbors visited and sought to sympathize with the old man over his bad luck.

“We are sorry for your bad luck” They would tell him, shaking their heads in sympathy . The farmer, lifting his hands gently as if balancing a scale, replied,“Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

Two days later, the farmer and his son were working in the fields. The sun was slowly creeping behind the hills in the distance. They caught sight of a horse cresting the mount. Their horse had returned with a herd of other wild horses. The son quickly corralled the horses and the neighbors were in awe of the farmer’s good luck. He responded with the same reply as before. “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

The next day, the farmer’s son attempted to tame one of the wild horses. As he rode in the corral, he fell off the horse and broke his leg. As you can imagine, this was believed by all the neighbors to be very bad luck. However, the farmer replied. . .  “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

Several weeks later, the army commanders entered the village seeking every able bodied youth they could find to fight in the war. As they came to the old farmer’s home, they had no use for a boy with a broken leg. He was dismissed…Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

This story offers us a wonderful lesson in perception. Our tendency and human nature is to judge our circumstances as good or bad, positive or negative. When we consider emotion, this initial judgment hooks us and begins a rapid series of events. When we judge a given event as negative, we will experience an emotion based on that appraisal. Eckart Tolle, in his book, “A New Earth” stated, “Unconscious assumptions create emotions in the body which in turn generate. . . instant reactions. In this way, they create your personal reality.” (p. 135).

Good luck, bad luck . . . who knows. This perspective allows us to remain in a state a neutrality. It enables us to surrender to a greater purpose. When we place judgment too early, we create a personal reality that might not serve us. We do not know where our journey lies and we cease to allow events to unfold as they must. Our experiences are designed to help us learn from the past, live and appreciate the present, and prepare us for a future. When we release the natural urge to place judgment on our circumstances, we can actually manage our own growth and learning process more effectively, We can also change our personal reality.